idk why I'm feeling so shitty right now. I think I'm lonely. I've been in my room working for the past few days not seeing any of my friends. I also dont think said friends fully appreciate me as a person. Which makes me question myself big time.
It just sucks working really hard and nobody being there to say "good job" on the other side. Sure I can tell myself that, but its nice to have people around.
I wish I could go hang out with somebody but also be in a shitty mood at the same time. I feel like people expect me to be in a certain mood and when I'm not showing behaviors associated with that mood, they get all weird.
But I also feel like nobody wants to hang out with me unless they're entertained. Lets face it, I dont have the best jokes, I'm not the group member thats funny and contributing all the time. I listen to people and speak when I feel its necessary. I assess information and I dont speak until I feel that I have enough information. People dont care that I do that. This has nothing to do with what I'm upset about. But I guess I feel like people dont respect me. Which sucks. I'm there when they need me or want me to be there, and thats it. Then they just leave when they dont need me anymore. That doesnt feel good.
Whatever. Just not feeling good tonight.
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